Turning 36 seems so surreal

Turning 36 seems so surreal.

I never pictured that I would be married, or have children at this age, in all honesty, I am very surprised that I am still breathing and I am grateful and humbled to be here, Now.

The pressures of society and my Ecuadorian Mother, to have children and be married, is what led me to believe that, that is the life, that I should want, however, I now see, that is far from MY TRUTH.

My truth is, a husband or child would not make me happy, quite the contrary, every time, I think about it, I feel like I can’t breathe, and it’s simple…. I have spent years chasing a dream, that was not mine, but my Mother’s.

Of course, what mother doesn’t want her daughter to eventually be married, have children and live in a house with a white picket fence?

Although, I know my mother comes from a loving place, it is also a place of restrictions and limitations.

A place, where she thinks, it’s part of a woman’s responsibility and duty to do here, on earth.

Bare children to leave a legacy and to be a devoted house wife. (How antiquated)

However, I do not feel that it is my responsibility as a woman, to do either.

My responsibility in my life, is to be the best version of myself and to be happy. My legacy, is my Art and the impact I have had in the relationships I have made along the way, with family, friends, students etc.

Just because I have ovaries and a vagina, doesn’t mean, I have to be a mother or a wife.

I can choose, to just be, Me.

And it doesn’t make me any less of a Woman.